Getting squashed or trampled at work

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Sep 21 '19 | By Doormat316 | Views: 287 | Comments: 5
So over the years a lot of the people I got to squash or trample me actually happened at work. This only came back to bite me in the ass once but on the upside I’ve gotten a bunch of dudes who I grew friendships with into thinking trampling and squashing me was their idea and fun. Never would have thought it was something but one day I was working with this dude, ironically named Matthew or Matt as everyone called him.

There was this stupid drain pipe thing that always seemed to come loose at the base of it and it was in a really stupid spot kind of behind yet between two racks in the stockroom. It was possible to knock it loose from the top or the bottom of the pipe and lining one up while keeping the other side in place was a bitch.

One day we were trying to get the thing lined up I laid on the floor and lined up the bottom piece but the top one kept popping out of place. So after like ten minutes of trying to maneuver it Matt said dude if I could hold the top piece in at the same time this would be a lot easier. I told him then do that. He laughed and said well I could but you’re in the way and we can’t do both unless you want 264 pounds standing on your back haha. I told him I don’t care just get the damn thing from falling out of the pipe.

Hesitantly he did it and my back cracked and he laughed and said “See so broke you” I kept trying to line it up but it seemed like it wasn’t gunna fix. After a good five minutes or so he said okay I think you got it. He stood there for another minute or two and laughed saying damn I didn’t think you’d be able to handle that.

For a while after that he would purposely knock the pipe out of place and laugh about how “you know what you have to do huh”.

Eventually him and I were thrown on overnight crew and he got got one of his friends hired as the third person on the crew. The first night he got his friend to fix the thing the same way and after that he told me that his older brother used to do that shit to them when they were younger so doing it to someone else was hilarious. I told them look I’m cool with it we can ditch the whole having to fix the drain thing and they could just trample and sit on me or whatever after we got all our work for the night done. When they realized they could get paid to literally relax on their boss.....well they were highly incentivized to finish their work sooner lol.

And that was when I realized there might be something to this.....and that was just the first of literally tons of people I got to do this at work.
Sep 21 '19
Such a wicked encounter! Personally, the professional boundary is one I don’t have sufficient nuts to cross. I think it’s because I work for a Fortune 30 company (massive) and don’t wanna risk disintegration of my career when it just started, lol.

But man, you are a BADASS. Within reason, keep doing you!
Such a wicked encounter! Personally, the professional boundary is one I don’t have sufficient nuts to cross. I think it’s because I work for a Fortune 30 company (massive) and don’t wanna risk disinte...See more
Sep 22 '19
Yeah I blurred that line a lot and have gotten a lot of employees to do it over the years. I’ve been really good at picking the ones who I felt would do it and building a bond with them before we did that.
Oct 17 '19
I’m late reading this post but this is so great haha, at my old job in the resort I was able to get a trample or two from my staff as well ????
Oct 17 '19
Lol didn’t mean to add question marks to the last comment
Oct 17 '19
Nice. Over the years I’ve gotten lots of people at work to do it. Including a group of 6 potheads who thought it was the greatest thing ever
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